Be a SJ Ally, not a SJ Sally

This is a handbook to those wishing to understand the peculiar nature of the family of persons known as “Social Justice Sally”s and their variants.

Social Justice Allies/Activists

Are not necessarily the same thing as Social Justice Sally’s, and should not be considered as such.

Social Justice Sally

The primary, all-encompassing term for this kind of person. SJS’s are somewhat infamous creatures, particularily within the realm of Tumblr. They are known for being incredibly hot-tempered and prone to outbursts, yet tend to run away from any conflict that can’t be solved by a violent territorial battle (thus making one of the greatest Sally deterrents to be responding to them like a mature adult; they will not be able to handle it and will depart, loudly declaring the last word and stating that they “don’t have time” for you). Tragically, because they have filled up their vocabulary with a number of buzzwords and phrases, they have condensed the meaning of “justice” and “constant offense” to a singular definition. Their manner of speaking is generally a repetition of “wow”, “that is not okay”, passive-aggressive roleplay threats and ironically every insult in every language that has ever been concieved. When asked to actually partake in activism, such as education, clarification, participation in public events and more, they typically have a readied excuse not to, thus lending credence to the popular scientific theory that the true natural goal of the Sally is not to make a difference, but to trick itself into believing it is never wrong, while making sure everyone on the internet thinks they are a good person; if someone doesn’t fall for this tactic, they are given a violent and often incomprehensible tongue-lashing, because another tragic fault of the Sally is to claim open-mindedness, but deny any opinion that differs from its own.

Social Justice Sampson

Social Justice Sally’s can be any gender, but when referred to strictly as male then they can be referred to as Social Justice Sampson’s. Specifically, this variety tends to have a lot in common with Nice Guys™

Social Justice Furry

Rather self-explanatory; the SJF is just the furry variant of a Sally, involved in furry-related issues.

The Groundhog Sally

A kind of SJS in denial; they will instigate conflicts of a SJ nature, but will completely deny any responsibility in case of retaliation, and might even claim to regularily dislike other SJSs (as in, seeing its shadow and going back into hiding)

The Psychologist Sally

Rather than have an isolated debate or discussion, the Psychologist Sally will spend the entire time making uneducated guesses as to whatever psychological affliction is causing their opponent to disagree with them. They will make assumptions on their opponent’s class, race, sex, orientation, gender identity, and more, but no matter what conclusion they draw they will always try to skew it to make the opposition appear “wrong”. One of the more humorous varieties, as they can frequently be seen in contradictory situations such as accusing someone of ableism, then trying to convince them that they have borderline personality disorder, dyslexia, narcissistic personality disorder, and more, often all at the same time.

Fandom Sally

A peculiar breed of Sally that uses its chosen fandom as a platform for social justice endeavors. Based on the fandom it choses, this often winds up nonsensical, with the Sally using “social justice” to try and “prove” why their OTP or canon theories are more correct.

More breeds of Sally will likely be added as they are discovered and classified.